I am naturally leery of happiness. I keep a positive outlook on most occasions, but when it comes to true joy I’ve been a bit of a scaredy-cat.
There seems to be a person who doesn’t want me to be scared and wants me to be happy.
I know…novel concept.
I was asked the other night if I had been mistreated in the past and why I let that happen. My honest answer to that question was I didn’t know I had been.
It’s true.
Sad.but.true.
It’s funny how in one situation things seem normal and you feel happy, then the bubble bursts and you can look at the situation objectively. That is when you realize it was a false happiness.
At the time you really were happy.
Then fate, destiny, divine intervention, whathaveyou steps in and there is a better happiness waiting in possibly a package you hadn’t expected.
A few weeks ago I finally sat down and thought about what I wanted in another human being to share my life. What were the characteristics of a person I wanted to be with? What did I bring to the table I hoped someone would complement?
I came up with a list. The list was simple and compact with four criteria. Based on previous relationships I chose qualities that I felt made those relationships work.
1. I wanted a man I could talk to. Not just the superficial, but the serious and the fun.
2. A man had to be someone with a protective nature.
3. Remember the tingles? Yep, that had to make the list. The next man must make me tingle when I see him or think about seeing him.
4. And last but not least someone who is just plain fun.
That’s it. Four simple things rolled into one man. I don’t feel like it is an outlandish list of unreachable goals. Notice there is nothing physical listed. In my attempt to grow as a person I wanted the physical stuff to take care of itself. In the movie “8-Seconds” there is a conversation between Kelly and her mother when they are talking about Layne Frost:
Kelly – “He has one of those scrawny bull rider butts.”
Mom – “Honey, I’d judge a man by the size of his heart rather than his rear-end. It’s libel to do you more good.”
After the whole debacle that was November I decided maybe it was time to heed that advice. That clown was tall and handsome and on the outside put together. On the inside he was mush and very VERY selfish.
A month ago a friend pointed to a man I thought was cute, but nothing I was physically looking for.
At all…
5’3” isn’t tall. I tend to lean towards blue eyes over brown. I will admit however, he had a great smile with eye wrinkles and dimples to boot.
Anyhow, a mutual friend pointed to him and said, “You should go after him. You would laugh your ass off.”
I thought about it.
A lot.
For two weeks.
When the time was right and an opportunity arose for us to hang out I took it.
SO…glad…I…did!!
We continue to hang out. We are taking our time and getting to know each other.
It’s different…in a good way.
He has shown himself to possess all the major qualities and many minor qualities I want to be around.
I am cautiously optimistic about where this whole thing is headed, but would be remiss if I didn’t mention even a little snippet here.
Inspiration song…She’s More by Andy Griggs. Yes, I took a little creative license with the blog title…
Keep your fingers crossed and thoughts up to whichever higher power you believe in. I will be doing the same while not being “skered” and enjoying the moments as they happen.
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