Better Than

There is a war raging as we speak.

I am not making a large political statement, if I did I would be talking about this whole birth control mess and how both churches and lawmakers are getting it all wrong.

I’m not doing that.

The war I’m speaking of is this idea that “the grass is greener”.

**this is also not a follow up to yesterday’s post. That part of my life is done.
All things have been made clear to both sides and nothing shady really happened.**

I’m talking about how single people long to be married or at least in a stable relationship, and married people wonder how their life would be different if they were able to be carefree and single.

There was an entire movie devoted to this subject for goodness sake!

The truth is we just don’t know. Call it my Gemini traits, but I do see both sides of this argument.

Life is hard.

Life can at times kick you in the teeth, or gut, or…insert body part here…

Life is pretty freakin’ cool too.

As the single, I think it would be nice to have a person fight beside you when the world is trying to kick your face in. If I was married I would probably say most of those fights are because of the person.

Here is an abbreviated list of positives and negatives, as I see it:

Marriage Pluses
Not eating dinner alone
Not having to call all friends to find someone available to go watch a game with
Two incomes
Someone to make you laugh
No cold side of the bed

Single Pluses
Making plans without “checking in” with someone
An entire bed to yourself
Single control of remote
No arguments over her shows versus his shows

Marriage Minuses
Can’t make plans without checking in
Bed and cover hogs
Multiple DVR’s and receivers so you don’t argue over TV
More bills

Single Minuses
Eating dinner alone
Going to events alone
One income
Uneven mattress from sleeping only on one side

That is a completely abbreviated list and by no means all inclusive. It is just an illustration that oddly our problems are basically an issue of perspective.

The question of “soul mate” has been raised recently. Remember Anna said my soul mate ran and found another gal because he saw me with kissy-kissy boy?

What exactly IS a soul mate?

Again, this is completely MY definition…

To me, a soul mate is a person who challenges us, makes us a better person, and lets us help them be better. I don’t think it has to do entirely with common interests.

I have a friend who confided in me he met a person and felt “connected” in a way he didn’t connect with his wife. “What if she was my soul mate?” he asked. She had the same love of sushi and liked having the shower turned up to the highest temperature possible. His wife hates sushi and would prefer just a warm shower. My argument to my friend was that it isn’t about liking the same things all the time. The analogy I used was of my favorite color combination, pink and gray. Independently they are meh, but I will build a wardrobe out of them together. A soul mate is the person you make a wardrobe (life) with.

I feel I should clarify

You take the good with the bad and make it work every day. And hopefully Palm Reader Anna is right and we live cancer free into our 90s.

I will leave you with lyrics to today’s Inspiration Song:

All you want is
What you can't have
And if you just look around man
You see you got magic
So just sit back relax
Enjoy it while you still have it
Don't look back on life man and only see tragic

Because you could be better than that
Don't let it get the better of you
What could be better than now
Life's not about what's better than
You can be better than that
Don't let it get the better of you
What could be better than now
Life's not about what's better

All the time while you're looking away
There are things you can do man
There's things you can say
To the the ones you're with
With whom you're spending your today
Get your gaze off tomorrow
And let come what may

Because you could be better than that
Don't let it get the better of you
What could be better than now
Life's not about what's better than
You can be better than that
Don't let it get the better of you
What could be better than now
Life's not about what's better

All I know is sometimes things can be hard
But you should know by now
They come and they go
So why, oh why
Do I look to the other side
'Cause I know the grass is greener but
Just as hard to mow

Inspiration Song…Better Than by John Butler Trio