If you read my last blog you will notice it was a little darker than others. The message was good, but the tone was off.
Sometimes life throw you mind f***s or as I like to say mental-effs.
The mental-effs have been getting to me lately and it all came to a head on a gloomy Wednesday.
Thank goodness two dear friends allowed me internet space to have a pity-party. There is no excuse for a pity-party, but they were sweet enough to let me have one.
Lots of stuff has been going on personally and professionally. For a few hours I lost my grip and let the emotions overwhelm me.
I left work early with what seemed like the weight of the world on my shoulders.
I was a blue buckaroo.
I was...well, you probably get the gist by now.
Here's the happy ending...
That feeling lasted until approximately 645pm. At 715pm I recognized it as gone. At 1030pm I felt at peace and ready to fight a little today for what I really want.
Why the change? What did it?
Oh come on, you HAVE to know the answer to this...
Alright I'll say it again...
The gym. My little piece of distance away from crap and other people.
It started with an exciting purchase; my own pair of heavy bag boxing gloves! These things are light and just what I need to try a different instructor for Cardio Boxing tonight. If I don’t like the instructor you can bet I will be combing Pinterest for heavy bag workouts!
Ohhh Pinterest...that is a completely separate subject for a later time...basically one of my dearest sucks and got me hooked. Love you TPyle…
Darn it Dawn, focus!
So now I have gloves and a place to hit something that doesn't get me arrested. Hooray!
When I got to the gym I tried the treadmill, but wasn't feeling it. I realized if I hurried I could make the 530pm cycle class with TBad. I have never taken one of his classes, and I have to say he rocked! Oh my gosh! Um, someone tell Doc I won't be working on Wednesdays after 530pm anymore. We did some crazy "melt your face" climbs, as JayVee would say, to awesome music. The Michael Jackson Thriller mix with all MJ's songs may have been made specifically for cycling.
After TBad I had a date with TrainerD. Now he is all guy, but his nickname for now at least will be TrainerDori, as in Finding Nemo Dori. He cannot stay focused on one thing for longer than 10 seconds!
It’s amazing! He loses focus telling a story worse than I do (didn’t know it was possible) and the slightest noise or movement causes his head to whip around. It’s a gym, there is ALWAYS a distraction.
My new favorite game is changing subjects to keep him guessing.
I am starting to appreciate TrainerDori, because he lets me yell at him. Monday he told me to quit being a baby, so I told him to quit being a d-word. Today he said to do diamond push-ups and I said NO. And then I did four until he realized I was still sore from Monday. I also told him "I luuuvvv you" today. In trainer/client speak that means something very much not nice. He's big and sweet and I'm getting the feeling he’s just what I need...as long as I don't have to jump or do bear crawls...those are just stupid for anyone over the age of 23.
As I said, around 715pm I realized I was smiling for the first time all day; really smiling, not the smile I wear that just makes people think I'm holding it together. It felt great.
I have never noticed such a remarkable change after a workout before. My shoulders only felt heavy from doing bicep curls. My breathing was relaxed.
I was able to see the positives through all the dull. Such as the fact I have an amazing work friend who really does have my back and wants to help me...actually I have a couple.
Like the fact the people who are making my friend sick and upset will get theirs in the end. Ok, maybe not so much positive energy, but it makes me smile...I am human after all.
Also, I realized the fight I have today will go ok one way or the other. I know I will get to have my say. That's all I ask.
So for a little while the fog lifted. I do feel better and apologize for being a bit of a downer on my last blog.
Inspiration Song...New Shoes by Paolo Nutini
When I put on two new pair of shoes (cycle and running) I found two more men allowed to order me around this year and more importantly I lost the globe resting on my shoulders.
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